I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
