He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
