Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
