I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize