Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
