The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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