Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My life is pants optional.
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