Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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