Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
My balls are so social today.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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