This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
