Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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