It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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