I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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