I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
