my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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