So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Randomize
