my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
