Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We left the knife in your bed.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
