Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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