My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
