Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
