that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
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