Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
