just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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