I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
