Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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