I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Congratulations! We have a period
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
