Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
