yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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