remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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