so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
