Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
