Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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