At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
this will be a night to untag.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
