I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
