Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
