You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
