I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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