yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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