so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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