i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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