Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
