Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize