Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
