I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
