I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
