He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
