The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
