he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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