They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
