Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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