I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
