I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just high enough for therapy.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
