you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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