but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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