it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
There's always time for handjobs
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
