Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
