He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
