His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
