Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
