Do you still have your period?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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