it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
