just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
