Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
