yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
