yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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