Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
