i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Damn victory sex feels great
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
