1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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