There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
